Health Facts · Inspiration

WHY Do We Self-Sabotage?

I HAVE BEEN THERE…I get it…The vicious cycle…the guilt, the shame, the frustration.


I’ll start Monday I say. I’ll do better next time I say.  Monday and Tuesday go super well and then Wednesday I get stressed or sad or lonely or triggered in some way or another and BOOM- I’m back to square one. I grab my comfort food and say “I deserve this” or worse, “I don’t like myself very much right now, so I’m going to stuff my face until I feel better because I don’t even care right now!”


The constant struggle. The self-sabotage. The negative self talk. That voice saying, “why can’t I be good enough? Why do I even try? Why can’t I get my shit together and live a healthy lifestyle? I obviously have no willpower. I suck. I ruined everything, I can’t do it.”

I’m here to tell you that change is more than willpower and it is certainly not perfection. Food is SO much more deep rooted than we are led to believe. We learn what is healthy yet we don’t follow through. Why? Because there is more to the story. Let’s dig in to this juicy topic! And important: You are NOT alone and you CAN heal and be resilient.

Food is a DRUG. Yes, a drug people! I’m mainly talking about dairy, gluten-containing grains and sugar but all food has attachments, experiences and emotions attached to it.  Casein (found in dairy) and gliadin (found in wheat) cause an opiate-like effect on the brain and cause it to light up like a Christmas tree (in most people). Within seconds, our taste buds are doing jumping jacks, our minds are at ease and we have a rush of joy run through our bodies. Come on- you have experienced it, right?! Getting that rush when you bite into a juicy pastry or slice of pizza? Don’t believe me? Read is here in this pubmed study. More info here. Not to mention hundreds of other proteins in our beloved grains that wreak havoc on our health. This is not a gluten discussion, but I wanted to address that piece of the puzzle.  Back to food as a drug…when we are trying to escape our physical world reality, what do we turn to? For some of us, it’s caffeine or alcohol or drugs or sex or gambling or shopping or maybe all of these or none of these, but we all have to eat. What is the easiest drug to turn to when we are feeling sad, lonely, depressed, anxious, annoyed, excited? FOOD. And it happens before we know it! And then we beat ourselves up for eating unhealthy.


By getting to the ROOT cause. Always.

When I feel pain; I want to escape. My ass wants to hit the ground running and not look back.  Pain comes in all forms, but I’m talking about emotional, spiritual and psychological pain. Who wants to feel pain? Why face it and move through it when I can temporarily get SOME relief from the pleasures, relaxation and numbing effects of alcohol, sugar or a vanilla chai latte (I’m SO guilty! Dopamine like WHAATTT!!). But that’s all it is- TEMPORARY relief from the pain. A distraction that lasts a few moments and then the pain returns…until I face what is underneath all of those coping mechanisms and addictions.

Maybe I’m feeling out of alignment with something in my life. My career, friends, family, kids, husband, passions, religion, spirituality or maybe I’m just not being the person I know I’m meant to be- that authentic, loving woman who shows up in life. For me, it’s typically spirituality and feeling disconnected from myself, others, Mother Earth and the universe. Once I look within, listen, feel, move through, process, grow, transform, HEAL: the over- eating stops immediately. The self-sabotage stops. The negativity stops. And I start to feel whole again. I feel the peace, the grace, the love for myself and my body that is always within all of us if we listen.  Only you know what is out of alignment in your life. Only you know your programming, your patterns and your path to healing.

I ask you to ask yourself…


Rather than beating ourselves up, which makes things worse; let’s learn from EACH experience. Learn from the pain. Learn from the addictions, the patterns, the programming and write a NEW story. Reframe our words and our CORE beliefs.

Only then will you be FREE.

Free to shine YOUR light. Free to be yourself.

I light a candle of love, inspiration and hope for us all. Blessings. XOXO




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